I have been a caregiver for my parents (now just mom) for over 12 years. I’ve been thinking about the lessons I’ve learned. I am no expert and I often don’t get it right, but I thought I would share some insights just in case they help someone else. Here’s my thoughts:
Communicate with siblings and parents make sure everyone feels they are kept in the loop.
Don’t keep score with siblings regarding tasks done or visits.
It’s not about you. What’s important to your loved one? Try to make it happen.
Set boundaries and make sure you let others know the boundary.
Do things for yourself – things to bring you happiness and joy. And don’t feel guilty about it!
Let it go! When your loved one doesn’t remember that you were visiting, let it go and don’t take it personally.
You don’t need to be right! Swallow your pride
Don’t take on the struggles of others. Listen, acknowledge, pray, but that’s it.
If you carry someone’s entire burden, you rob them of their journey.
And when out of town siblings are present, include them without condition. Acknowledge you’re on the same team and get along.
Is tiring as it may be, enjoy the journey. It’s only a season and you never know when the season will change.
Live without regrets. Do what you can, when you can.
Forgive yourself. You’re not perfect
Be as present as you can. Life is precious, emails and texts are not.